It was a slow day in the shop. One pre-order pick up. A few small purchases. Half a dozen browsers who didn’t even have the decency to say bye as they left.
At around three o’clock a woman came in, forty-something, smart camel coat, a large handbag slung over her shoulder and a receipt peeking out of a balled fist. She looked determined as she marched straight up to the counter and held the receipt out to me.
“Hi there, how can I help you?” I said, trying to disguise my wince with a smile. I read the item listed on the receipt out of the corner of my eye and knew what was coming.
“Yes, you can help me. The product I bought is defective.”
I took the receipt from her and pretended to read it thoroughly. Three people had attempted to return the same product that week.
“What seems to be the problem with your purchase?”
“I just said, it’s defective.”
“But what about it is defective?”
“Something to do with the settings. It’s just…off. Not working for me at all. For the cost of it, I would have thought it would be better at doing…that…then what I’ve been getting.”
“Okay, so you got the 2655 model with a few customisations.”
“I did. A treat for myself for Valentine’s.”
Too much information, lady.
“I can have a look at the settings in our database to see if there are any issues or new updates, I just need your customer code.”
She huffed as she searched for the code on her phone. I typed it carefully into the computer, even though I knew a return was not on the cards – it was customised and she had already used it, so there was no way the factory would take it back, but I had to at least try and appease her before she went online to give us a bad review.
The page loaded on the computer and I scanned the information quickly. Everything seemed pretty standard.
“Okay. So you chose the silver subscription package. And boyfriend style.”
“Correct.”
“The voice is preset four. Personality preset twelve.”
“Yes.”
“Hair shade seven, eye shade also seven. Medium body build, and you upgraded to a customised mouth and nose, but chose preset two for the eyes.”
“Yes.”
“And only the two speeds?”
“Yes. Yes, yes, yes. Can you check what’s wrong with it on there?”
“Just to clarify, your username for the device is ‘Carlina69’?”
The woman coughed.
“Erm…Yep. Yes. That’s it.”
“So of all the things listed, which bit is defective?”
“Well, it’s none of those things exactly, it’s…”
She paused. I waited.
“I don’t know how to explain it. Hold on, I’ll go get it and show you. It’s in the car.”
I pride myself in remaining calm and collected when it comes to customer service, but when she said that, I couldn’t help myself – I took a step back and put my hand to my neck as if clutching my pearls in disgust.
“You brought it here?”
I hoped and prayed she’d cleaned it first.
“I just can’t explain what’s wrong with it, but you’ll get it when I show you. One minute, I won’t be long.”
I put my head in my hands as she clomped out of the shop and swung the door closed behind her. When I eventually gathered up the courage to remove my hands from my face, she was rushing across the road back towards the shop, dismissively putting her hand in the air at a car that skidded to a halt inches away from her. The 2655 was trailing behind her, out in the daylight on a Wednesday afternoon for all to see. I took a deep breath as she ushered it in.
“You really didn’t need to…” I started.
“I just have to show you, okay? Because I can’t really explain it.”
She pushed it in front of me, as if introducing us at a party. It’s hard not to be impressed with the new model; the silicone skin looks so good there are even pore details, the joints are less stiff than the last model so the movements are more realistic, and you can barely hear them when they’re on now. The hair is a still a little plastic-looking, and they blink a little too slowly for my liking, but they’re still incredible pieces of technology.
Then I remembered that she had already used it. I shuddered, trying not to breathe too deeply.
“Okay,” I said, resigning myself to the fact that this was happening and I had to go along with it. “What would you like to show me?”
If things got bad, at least it would be a fun anecdote to share at the work Christmas party.
The woman took hold of the right hand of the 2655 and put her finger over the palm, where the action button is.
“Look at it when I do this, okay? Look at its face.”
I swallowed as she pressed the button.
“Tell me you want me,” she said.
The eyes of the 2655 moved left to right until they found hers, then the left cheek tightened to create a lopsided smile.
“I can’t stop thinking about all the things I want to do to you, Carlina.”
I stared at the face. It all looked pretty normal as it spoke, but when it stopped there was a twitch at the upper lip. A mild look that could possibly be described as revulsion. Possibly.
I shrugged.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not sure what you’re referring to.”
“No, no, no. Look again!” She pressed the button again. “Do you want me?”
“You make me so hard, Carlina.”
This time its face pulled into a very obvious sneer.
“See! Right there! He looks like he doesn’t like me. I paid a lot of money for this damn thing and I want my money back.”
“You paid for what it looked like, not for it to like you.”
The words just fell out of my mouth without me realising. I couldn’t believe I’d said them – and neither could the customer by the look on her face. Her cheeks flushed a deep red and before I could apologise, she grabbed the 2655 and pulled it towards the door.
Before it left the shop, the head of the 2655 rotated towards me, and I could have sworn it flashed me an amused smile.
Do you like what you read?
If the answer is yes my sci-fi novel, These Unnatural Men, is available in paperback and ebook.
Praise for These Unnatural Men
AMazon review
A poignant, topical read that explores the value of life and death with sensitivity
amazon review
As gripping as it is thought-provoking – a dystopian triumph
amazon review
A provocative read
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