In England if you want cheap food you go to Asda, and if you want cheap beer you go to a Wetherspoons pub. Easy enough.
When I first came to Reykjavík I was immediately told to shop at a certain supermarket as it sold the cheapest food available but I should buy fish from a market, and to only buy hamburgers from a particular restaurant because they’re expensive yet tasty but I should not buy burgers from other places as they are cheap but awful, and to buy alcohol from this bar and not that bar and to pay this but not that and…well, it’s all a bit of a headache. If one isn’t to spend too much money in this city, one has to knows the ins and outs of every establishment that serves food. And I’m too lazy.
That is why I decided to create the all new Iceland Diet, a fabulous new plan that I have devised to survive this otherwise generous country.
So if you follow the subsequent steps, you could be lazy and slim like me! Well, like I will be in about four weeks. Hopefully. If I don’t find a cheap cake source.
- Frozen vegetables are a must. They are just as nice as fresh veg if not better, and are at a fraction of the price. Beautiful in stir fries and curries and they last literally forever.
- Buy soya milk as it doesn’t need to be kept in the fridge or consumed quickly. I’m English and even with all the milky teas I have, I struggle to finish cartons of milk before they go off.
- Tinned goods are amazing, low in price and it usually turns out to be much cheaper if you buy those huge cans instead of the regular-sized ones. Also, they’re good to use as weights, think of the biceps you’ll have after carrying them home…
- Bread is not only a no-no for a diet but impractical to buy. Except for a source of fibre (which you can get from most breakfast cereals), bread is nothing but a tasty mould time bomb. Buy bags of Skorpor Fullkorn wholemeal crisp rolls instead, great to eat with practically any topping.
- Take full advantage of the extremely tasty, crisp and fresh water that comes out free from the taps. Often when you think you’re ravenously hungry, you’re actually just thirsty.
- Treat alcohol as preciously as Icelanders do. If you’re going to drink, go all out every now and again and spend money on some decent beers rather than drink the mediocre stuff all the time. Or don’t drink at all and be one of those cool people who think alcohol is beneath them. Failing that, flutter your eyelashes at someone fanning themselves with a wad of krónur.
- And finally, walk everywhere. I walk for at least eighty minutes a day because buses frighten me and a car would be a ridiculous luxury when I’m skimping on food. Although my feet are experiencing all kinds of unrecognisable pain I’m going to be repaid in weight loss.
Thank you Iceland Diet, I feel like a brand new woman!