My zombie apocalypse plan

I genuinely think that every self-sufficient adult should make plans for terrible, unpredictably sudden events. What if you suddenly become homeless? What if your support system disappears? What if you run into debt? What if the zombies take over?

For a hypothetical situation such as a zombie apocalypse there is no right or wrong answer, just a personal preference. You need to figure out what kind of survivor you are, if you’re one at all that is; being a martyr is still a plan that can be put into action should the time come. Parents and weaklings would undoubtedly fall into this category.

I have devised my survival plan into seven categories that I feel would be integral for my survival. Feel free to dispute these or write your own survival plan in the comments.

Food is a primary concern when it comes to surviving an apocalypse as I believe it’s a human’s basic needs that will determine whether a person will live or not in such a situation – the zombies themselves don’t help the survival rates of course, but I believe when dealing with a large problem the focus needs to be on the smaller details. Tinned foods are an obvious must, but perishables should also be gathered so that the tins last longer. Seeds must also be gathered so that they may be planted in the future, and it would be useful to know what is edible and what is not in the natural surroundings. My plans definitely involve going back to our primal roots.

Water is an even bigger concern than food. Bottled water should obviously be gathered in bulk, but it is best to find a stream or water source that can be tapped into. Much like learning which plants are safe to eat, one must learn how to correctly purify water.

Up high in the trees is the safest bet as the majority of dangers are at ground level, so I would definitely head towards a woodland. Also, tree houses are mega cool.

Medical supplies
I wouldn’t bother collecting anything from pharmacies other than aspirin, allergy medicine and antibiotics in this situation. I would also try and learn about herbal remedies (not the crappy herbal tea type things you can buy, I mean alternatives to painkillers etc). Obviously my zombie apocalypse involves a lot of forethought, which is perhaps the downfall of my otherwise perfect plan…but I figure when the zombies come you’re either dead or alive, and any in between state will lean towards one or the other. Got the sniffles? You’re alive. Need a complex list of prescription drugs to remain healthy? You’re as good as dead.

Knives. So many knives will be needed. Also I like the idea of a Hunger Games style crossbow or two… That being said, I would never actually try and defend myself as I am definitely up for flight over fight when it comes down to it. In the heat of the moment one would have to have the ability to defend oneself with violence, but it should be a last resort. Violence creates an increased possibility of death. Wimps win.

Longevity is the aim of the game in my book. If you want to survive an apocalypse, you’re going to have to have a long term plan. It’s a waiting game, and all these zombie films containing action and violence and speed and rushing around and thrilling excitement are completely unrealistic and complete bollocks. So, when the time comes (and it will come), and I’m sitting up in my tree house eating out of a tin of baked beans with my boyfriend and a couple of army sergeants, I’m going to have to make sure I bring a book or two. The apocalypse is going to be boring as hell.

Emily created Dystopic in July 2012 after requiring an outlet for her love of dystopian and apocalyptic fiction. Her debut novel 'These Unnatural Men' was published in 2018.

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